Young Women President Release

While at Yellowstone I got a text that our ward had split, well to be more precise the long street we live on had been cut off in the middle and we were moved to a new ward. My last Sunday with the Young Women was actually a hurtful and hard Sunday. I did not have those with my Young Women, this was very out of the norm, I always adored being with them but the previous Sunday had been a rough one. I was told of a special musical number last minute that I was overly grumpy about it and remember sitting on the stand trying to do all my girls’ hair while getting the youth to come up and practice singing. I was not in a good mood and ruined my last experience with them without knowing. When we started to sing and one of my girls who really had been struggled raced up to stand right next to me so I could put my arm around her, my grumpy heart melted a bit. But then for our Laurel lesson all the Laurels went home right before it began. They had never done that before and I had spent so much time on that lesson. So since no one was there I called them all on their cells to come back. They did but I was so tired and hurt that it was really hard to give the lesson. We had a Tuesday night activity of silly games and I had the biggest feeling of peace come over me, a content peace, as if I was taking snapshots of how much I loved being with the girls in my mind.

So I got released from serving these girls in texts from friends that our ward had split and I was in the new ward. The new Young Womens president came over to get my stuff and spent exactly 11 minutes with me. She wasn’t interested in hearing about the girls, all the struggles I had learned about them and ways they were so strong. Which in hindsight was probably done on purpose, so she could start fresh. But handing over all my things without a goodbye to the girls was very hard on me. I took the time to write each girl a long letter and slipped them all under their front mats, took a total of 7.5 hours. I know because I didn’t sleep that night and spent it crying while writing letters.

A part of me was hurt that I had no advance notice that I was going to be leaving all these girls when many living and serving around me knew of the ward boundary changes coming up. That I wasn’t ever released, had a chance to get last hugs, share a word or two, spend a last activity with them.

Two tender mercies happened; 1. In our new ward on the second week the teacher gave a lesson with a very similar experience to mine. (Well other than us having different callings the experience was the same.) He talked about how he experienced this but then was given an answer that he was called to humbly serve God, that he had done it, and should not expect anything for it. I didn’t per say EXPECT anything, a heart attack, fancy dinner with toasts and a free spa trip, or a last activity where every girl told me how I had changed their life! Ha! But I did have some small expectations, they weren’t met, I was letting hurt fester in my heart and it was going to ruin my experience of being their Young Womens President if I didn’t humble myself and stop. 2. I was called into a new calling and the bishopric member took the time to release me from my old calling, which he didn’t have to do. But when he did it it felt right, like I could move on. Hard to explain.

With that relief I also felt like I was mourning a phase of my life that I had grown immensely in and loved others so much. That ward, its leaders and community, will for all time be inscribed on my heart. I felt at home, which is a feeling I have been chasing since I was 12 and left Maryland. I was in mourning for all the teenagers that I had been able to serve and being part of that ward/community. When I think about it I still feeling mourning, but not with hurt, just with reminiscence.

When writing all the girls’ their own letters I also put together a video of my time with them. Watching many of them go from Beehives to Laurels, heal from hard times, stagger-grow-hurt-serve, was a beautiful experience. What is did for me was astronomical, it cemented in my heart that Heavenly Mother, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and our ancestors want us to be loved, grow, learn, and be a part of this church. Even when it is hard or confusing, when questions aren’t answered, that Their love is very intense and that angels watch over the youth with such care. Earthly angels and Heavenly ones. The girls themselves taught me that it is going to be amazing watching my four daughters grow and develop like they did. There are girls that I loved and respected so much that I will be very lucky if my girls grow up to be anything similar to them.

The world (and church, if the culture lets them) will be well taken care of because they are in it.

 

4 years. 
T Rex suits, orange chicken requests, chocolate cake crumbles, cricket eating, raft fighting, creepy snipe audio recording, mix tapes, backwards snow tubing, lesson planning, YouTube food challenges, marshmallow tizzie fits, lanterns & quilts, refugee projects, homeless shelter dinners, lots of treat runs, walks to talk things out, minivan drag racing, temple trips, tears, giggles, throwing up on my head, walrus sounds, stinky shoe checks, shower pleadings, zip line nervousness, boy talks, recitals, theater productions, improv nights, 41 babysitters and examples to my 4 girls, lovely leaders, emails, text groups, creepy angel in diaper murals, rubber chickens getting married, begging girls, box of lies, hair braiding, selfies left on my phone, girls serving & loving each other, voxer messages, Drop offs of treats to overworked leaders, School dance updates, not being able to give my talk because of my tears at the baptism, banging on makeshift drums in an old barn, always apologizing for my dirty van, angles of ice, food bank box diving, hikes with busted heads, fireside buddies, 
Crying while handing out font towels, bishop donuts, silly holiday parties, plates and plates of food leftovers to go, Worrying, feeling proud, praying, following the spirit, mock trials, jazz tours, ward party planning, if you were an ice cream flavor you would be my favorite one, art nights, kids peeing during hard discussions, embarrassing BYU campus moments, heart aches, text reminders, surprise breakfasts at mountain tops, French toast on a rainy morning in a tent, Beehive game nights, temple square selfies, burnt out seniors, travel photo recaps, flinestone dressing up, loving each other, life long friendships 
But MOST of all feeling Heavenly Father’s love for 41 girls and 18 leaders and knowing without a doubt that His love is real and true. Girls, He is never someone that will hurt or betray you or let you down. Talk with Him, let Him in, let Him love you.

Check out the slideshow I made in the middle of the night while sobbing. Link in profile.

And Pinkie Promise to always let me follow you online&come to your special life events. 
I love you so much girls ?

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